Don't Lose Yourself

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now i think i gg to summarize my whole yr bahhs..
summarize my yr..

BY WRITING TO SANTA!!!

dear santa,

i have a confession to make. i haven`t been a good girl this year. many things that i took for granted came and went. for me, i`m rather sure, for many others too, this has not been a very good year. friendships and relationship, broken and rebuilt due to my own pride and his too. things have not been picking up since the beginning of the year. 28 dec o4 we quarrelled lky nv before. both refusing to admit to fault, landing in a relationship that will never be able to salvage anymore. hardly talking nor contacting each other after that. there were days when i weren`t even sure if we re still together. surprisingly, everything lasted till 24 mar o5. when he finally called. as usual, we can`t see eye to eye. to me, enough was enough. we broke up. yepp, the usual, ton and tons of tears. well, i must say, i walked through it all. stronger than yesterday. heaven was not so heartless after all, the best thing that happened in 2oo5 came along.

ndp o5. made use of everything just in order to forget him. life hard be tough. but i made sure i was tougher. things seemed horrible at ndp practices at first. horrible mosquito bites and long itchy grass in the school field and all. endless complaining to add. made a few verii verii close frens there. the few of us who would stick together during ndp practices no matter what. den slowly, i began to felt like verything was right. although on the surface, things seemed horrible, deep down below, everything was sinking in. carving itself very deeply into ny heart. until one day, 26 jul o5, until i really realised the importance of ndp. i must say, happiness never lasts. all the memories and all that stuff. the days we`ve shared under the sun, pointing fingers at the dance instructor and all. they were just gone within less than a day, o9 aug o5. the actual day. cried buckets of tears. even till now, santa, there re still nights at which i dreamt of ndp. the birds and butterflies waiting nervously at the backstage. counting the beats. and so on..

spent the rest of the year dealing with stress from school and all that stuff until at a point which i felt as though things re never going to be the same again. meanwhile things got better between us, at least we were talking again. panic and fear was around the sec o3s worrying about getting retained or failing english. still, life goes on. but, things weren`t that bad after all, got my report book at the end of the yr, though my results are rather horrible and disappointing. santa, all i could wish and want from christmas would be a much much better 2oo6. it is going to be a very important year in my life. things got rather fustrating to knoe that i had to go back to school for other classes during the holidays. o2 nov we quarrelled again. i guess we re not even fated to be friends. so we severed all ties with each other. thanks to our strong ego and pride again. not long later, somehow, we became friends again. i mean he called, apologised and everything. so what o thought was, "why not just give him and myself a chance to be friends again?" so everything was fine till now. and hopefully forever.

santa, i m not going to ask for presents or any of that stuff as i have a humagous wishlist. all i wish is for you to do me a favor. by telling the guy mentioned above, jun de, to not feel sorry or awkward for all that happened and most importantly, to stop blaming himself. and tell him that i have long forgiven him for anything that he feels sorry for. he keeps blaming himself and his pride, i dun understand why. and oso, help me to say thanks to all my friends who have helped me through this tough and long year of 2oo5. thanks.

well~ that`s all. next post, the total no. of movies i`ve watched in the yr 2oo5 !!!!! LOL .

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